How to handle the dating game

27-Aug-2017 07:28

Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.

She's tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and

And those kinds of wounds can take a lifetime to heal and will inevitably carry over into your next relationship.

If you end up in a place where you fear rejection, you’ll start to anticipate it and then you’ll be more likely to be rejected, thus confirming your initial prediction and affirming your belief that anyone you like won’t like you, which may pave the way for more rejection and on and on the vicious cycle goes.

If I could write a note to my younger self it would be: “Don’t take it all so personally.

You’re wonderful, and if someone else doesn’t see it, let that be their problem, not yours.” Unfortunately, my younger self didn’t get the memo and any type of rejection (especially from the opposite sex) would wreak havoc on my self-esteem.

My hope is that my friends let me play romantic roulette with their love lives because they think my job affords me some top-secret dating intel.

In reality, they probably just let me do it because of how much it fascinates me.

Aries, the lover of risk and adventure, is apt to enjoy activities with you that could include hang gliding, bungee jumping or car racing. Use this to turn his mind away from everyday business matters and focus on you.

It took me a really long time to learn to deal with rejection, and it’s something that I still need to work on to this day even though I’m a relationship writer and am supposed to have some degree of expertise in this area.